Re-writes

So I'm going to a do a major re-write of the story and introduce a second protagonist, whose own story affects and is affected by that of Ulam. This new character will be one of the team that helps communicate with the aliens and of course gets some important stuff wrong, like some fundamentals about weights and measures. This character - possibly called Reeman will provide some light relief and also provide a substantial hook on which to hang a lot of the dialogue about maths.

Here are the first three pages that Alex has been working to:


A MAN AMID THE WRECKAGE

PAGE ONE

Frame: A broken laptop screen being typed into by a man, Ulam, the text on the screen, reads ‘Einstein was wrong.’

Final frame of the sequence, which should be a full frame picture of the Monkey Nazca line. Could you alter the dimensions of the Monkey so that it adheres to the golden ratio please. You could also make the spiral more regular and place the Astronaut Nazca line. Could you also put in those incomplete triangles just to the left of the astronaut in as well please.

Text that comes before the title page:

“God does play dice

these are part of the same sentence but need to be separated in some way to make the gag work.
and I suspect that he cheats.”


PAGE TWO:

I think this page should somehow be related to the golden ratio as well. Also you need to put the number 24,024 somewhere in it – explicitly – I’ll come up with some more ancient numerical symbols for you.

Panel 1: Close up of Ulams face, a bit battered and bruised.
Laptop text in a narrative box at the bottom of the panel “That’s the only coherent conclusion I can arrive at.’

Panel 2: Low angle of Ulam amid the wreckage of the hot air balloon with the Andes in the background – a stunning shot showing the grandeur of the location. David Lean territory.
Laptop text in a narrative box at top of panel: “ ‘Coherent’, of course being a relative term as I am losing blood at a rate of knots, am quite possibly concussed… ‘

Narrative box of laptop text at bottom of panel: ‘…suspect that both of my ankles are broken, and may well be suffering from altitude sickness.”

Panel 3: Wide of the Nazca lines, including the Astronaut, the triangles and that strange thing that looks like a stanley knife blade above the monkey. Ulam and the wreckage need to be visible somewhere.

Laptop text in a narrative box at top of frame: “Not that I know anything about altitude sickness, (I’m a well respected consumer electronics journalist), I just saw a documentary about climbing the Tetons in America once and the presenter got altitude sickness and a bit tearful.’ Laptop text in narrative box at bottom of frame ‘They kept the camera running though.’

Panel 4: Wide of the monkey birds eye view ‘Now it’s the end of the world and I am a man amid the wreckage of a hot air balloon. Among the Nazca lines. In Peru. In excruciating pain. With no water. No food. And a laptop with no long term memory. Plus. I’m. Dehydrated.’

PAGE THREE

Panel 1: Classic image of Saturn in space

Narrative box top of frame:“I feel like having a bit of cry myself…

Narrative box bottom of frame: ‘…but don’t want to waste water.’

Panel 2: Wide of Saturn in the distance with a spaceship in the foreground.

Narrative box top of frame: ‘ Seem to remember being at work when everything started to go…’

Panel 3 – space ship bearing down on Earth – with Jupiter in the extreme foreground, Mars in the mid and Earth in the background. There are some images of Jupiter with the sun flaring behind them so the sun could be just behind Earth – some flares off into space.
NARRATIVE BOX bottom right hand of frame “…odd.’

Panel 4: Close up of a front or a radio – all the bits on the front adhering to the golden section - I’ve put a marker in the Golden Section book as a reference – the square with the divided circle in the middle at the bottom of page 30 should have echoes in the speaker grill design of the radio. – Radio announcement - in an electronic looking speech bubble – marker in Create Your Own Graphic Novel – ‘I’m terribly sorry but I’m afraid we’re going to have to interrupt todays…’

Panel 5: Mid of consumer magazine office with the radio maybe in the middle at the back. Ulam is there and a couple of others. Windows down one wall, desks and computer screens, wastepaper baskets. Radio announcement in spiky speech bubble ‘…coverage of the Ashes for a sort of a news flash.’

Panel 6: Close up Ulam - speech bubble - ‘***#$@**>, the Queen’s kicked the bucket.’

Panel 7: Mid - 2nd Journalist ‘Or The Duke of Edinburgh.’

Panel 8: Close up Ulam from side ‘No ***^%$^%$ way. They wouldn’t interrupt the cricket for him.’



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C